A bold title; self-centered, and probably a bit presumptuous, but this is an introduction to me, and as such I think ya'll should be informed of a few things before we go any further: bold is the tamest adjective that can be used to describe me.
Needless to say, I build my reputation on keeping my mouth open (and my fingers moving on the keyboard) no matter what may come out. Sometimes I consider it a public service: the ability to say what everyone else is thinking. Sometimes I figure I'm just a bitch.
But this is getting ahead of myself. It's painting a terrible picture of a 'fiesty' (another tame adjective) redhead without any background.
Why am I difficult? What could I possibly know about anything I'm writing about? Where the hell is my nerd-cred?
People have been asking me the first question for as long as I can remember (and with varying tones of annoyance). There’re too many answers for that one. Primarily I think I'm difficult because it's fun. The other two questions have answers more explanatory than my hedonistic (and sometimes sadistic) enjoyment of shenanigans.
I was always a nerdy little thing. Growing up as an only child, whose only friends were books, will do that to you. I moved around a lot, I read way above my level (stole my father's sci-fi before he'd finished it, causing trouble at a young age), and I began that wonderful pilgrimage to the mountain of seclusion so many nerds undertake.
My youth was filled with the high marks stereotypical of someone who has few friends and little to do other than peruse the Discovery Channel, the library, and—when the internet made its debut in the 90's—search engines like HotSpot and Ask Jeeves. I plundered it like words were my rum. I was round, bucktoothed, and isolated...with the happy armor of biting wit and stinging sarcasm to cover up my squishy insides.
In this time I wrote fanfic, cosplayed, traded pokemon cards, obsessed over fandoms, attended conventions, played MMORPGs, and ran a webcomic that made its way into the Toronto Star.
There came a time during my last year of university where I got sick of my exterior not matching the heat my tongue could spew at a moments notice. I dropped forty pounds, had my teeth fixed, and suddenly became a model.
The transformation took a little longer than that, but you get the gist.
So what does that mean for me now? Well, as one of those girls who was picked on or ignored as tormentors saw fit, who eventually found solace in nerdy things like books, comics, anime, and video games, I have my nerd-cred. It's hard won and well defended.
My life as a model, while making a good chick-lit title, is full of the amusement that comes from having the 'outside' perspective for so long. So I'm kind of pretty now? Great. I still get self-conscious around girls that have been pretty their whole life. You know the ones. I still spout vitriol at a moment's notice, often to the surprise of those who peg me as a ditzy 'pretty' type. It’s amazing the 180 that people do when suddenly you're aesthetically pleasing. I still read, I still write, and I can and will still kick your ass at half the nerdery you toss me.
Being suddenly pretty isn't all it's cracked up to be. There I was, undergoing an identity shift, and I was alone. I made full use of all the dating opportunities known to me, after a break from a few long relationships that were more stifling and needy than actually fulfilling in any sense. I got into the morally murky entertainment scene. I got out of the morally murky entertainment scene, only that much more bitter for the endeavor (but with a lot of hilarious stories, in retrospect). Now I'm back in the less murky waters of modeling, with the occasional music video or public event under my stylish belt, and regular burlesque shows around Toronto to balance it out.
So what do I do now? I work like anyone else does, I have the occasional photo shoots, I do PR events for nightclubs, I dance whenever I can (no matter who's watching), i twirl some tassels, and I coddle my cats more than is likely healthy.
Along with my nerd background and my modeling photos, I come from a life where I've tried everything. I grew up on a farm (with the boys) and I've taken every opportunity that I've come across to learn something new, mostly in the hope that I'd find my niche. I don't know if I have yet, or if anyone really has a niche. So far I'm just having fun. I've become less and less concerned with fitting in, and more and more content with who I am.
Mind you, I still think my thighs are fat.
So, enough about me...let me give you an overview of what sort of opinionated ramblings you can expect here. For now I think I'll be limiting this blog to three broad topics, as follows:
Burlesque: As a new performer on the Toronto circuit I'm certainly not a big fish, a fat cat, or the top dog...but if you get me enough rhinestones I'll happily dress up as any of them.
Food Reviews: I've only been in Toronto a little over a year, and in that time I've found quite a few places that I drag friends to. Now I have a larger audience, and I'm going to make sure everyone here knows about the places contributing to my gym time. You can buy me a drink if you see me there.
Strange Stuff: Everyone knows there're ghosts in Toronto. No one knows where. Or maybe you do. If you do, email me and I'll write an article about it. This section will be for local haunting, odd occurrences, psychics, occult stuff, and generally weird news. Of course, this'll be written by a skeptic and a writer with the educational background to know the difference between a good story and possibly legitimate freaky business.
My final topic will be a controversial approach to dating advice...
How Not to Suck: Having gone through all modes of dating, on both sides of the sexual fence, I feel that I'm equipped with a vast knowledge of why people suck. This series will be directed at men, guys, boys, and dudes. Women may find it interesting or amusing. Things covered may include 'Why You Cannot Touch Her Breasts', and 'How Webcamming Your Penis Can Come Back to Haunt You.'
So there you have it. I'm going to be difficult and loud, and you're just going to have to deal with it. I've been told I'm a sweetheart, really deep down, and I suppose in my search for love and my quest for good food, I am. I'm not quite sure where the ghosties come in (haunted bakery due to unrequited love?) but we'll get that figured out as we go along.