Monday, October 25, 2010

Behold, a Vlog!

These will happen from time-to-time! It's a quick way for me to ramble on (clearly).

And hey, if a picture's worth 1000 words, then a video is worth 10,000. I just saves you a whole lotta readin'.

If you want regular videos, go take a look at my youtube channel! Subscribe, comment, etc. 

~ Red

Friday, October 8, 2010

Dating Advice - Why You're Striking Out on the Internet. LEVEL UP

Alright, so you're on the right sites. You've got some good pictures up that show you in your best light. Your profile is both informative and witty, and you're a master at writing messages.

Why is it then, that you're not getting any dates? Maybe you're not even getting any responses. Maybe the responses you are getting end up in a few back-and-forths before tapering off. Stop fooling yourself, in this case it's rare that she's just out of attack cards. She's entirely left the table.

I know at this point you're either going to start moping and slink off, stop being active on the sites, and go back to lurking in front of your computer. Alone. On a Friday night. Or you're going to get angry, bitter, and jaded and swear off all women forever because everyone sucks and no one's sucking you.

This is a case where you might be right, and you might actually be happier lurking alone under a bridge for the rest of your life, but more likely the problem still lies with you.

One has to realize that the meat market is, in face a meat market. As such, the lovely shoppers aren't going to be tempted by certain cuts of meat. This might mean that you need to do a little self-improvement in order to attract a mate.

You want her to fondle you like a steak

Yes yes, I know. You're 'good enough' the way you are, and 'if she doesn't like me for me...'

Frankly, if she doesn't like you for you, and no one else does, maybe you need too be a better you.

So how are you going to do this? It's actually pretty simple, in theory, and really not that hard in practice. Your first step is to work on your appearance...because it really does matter. Your second step is to work on what you have to offer intellectually. Your third and final step is to work on your situation. Your whole situation.

Why all this work? Well, if you want a girl who's pretty, smart, and interesting, a girl who won't have to ask her Dad if she can go out, a girl who can buy her own things, and a girl who won't be smotheringly needy and call you a million times a day 'just to check in''re going to need to be a boy who is all those things too.

I mean, you can trade up...but it's not likely.

So, first of all try and take a look at yourself. Do you shower (regularly)? are you clean-shaven or groomed (sporting a hobo beard isn't in right now...or ever)? Have you brushed your teeth? Do your clothes fit? How about your you have a nice cut?

The reality is that if you want a girl who puts some effort into her appearance you're going to have to do the same.  

The Beast may have managed being furry, smelly, gruff and gross with Belle...but not all of us bookworms get turned on with the same switch.

The Beast can dance. Even Disney men have to do a little self-improvement.

Ask some friends to go shopping with you. Ask some female friends to help give you a makeover. It may be akin to torture, but the stat bonuses you'll get by the end of the experience will be worth it.

Oh, and get off your butt.

Yes, failing all else, you need to be somewhat active. If you're overweight or a skinny twig, maybe look into joining a gym, a sports team, or grabbing an exercise DVD. If you get a little more fit you'll be doing a benefit to yourself, as well as your appearance to others. It's really not that difficult. I used to be around 160lbs, and now I'm a lingerie model. I still eat cheesecake.

Getting more active also gives you something to talk about outside of your typical nerdrange. Bonus stats, if you will. You don't need to wax eloquent about the perks of the gym, but maybe that soccer team you joined instead offered up a new fried, who dragged you to an outing of a new sort (where hey, you might meet a girl offline), and you learned something new. Getting Out There, away from your computer, is advertising yourself.

Beyond that, consider reading a few books. Either what's popular now, or something that catches your interest. Books are what came before the internet, and are full of information, even in a fictional setting. They'll also expand your vocabulary and give you some ideas. It's not a bad idea to read, ever, and you may find an author that you mesh with. Having things to talk about, and knowing a lot about a variety of subjects, works to your favour with girls (and people in general). You don't want to be a one trick pony.

The last step you've already made some leaps and bounds towards completing. Altering your situation. You're getting fitter and more attractive. You've got some nicer, stylish clothing (and you're not covering up the unwashed smell with Axe or Febreeze. We notice. Everyone notices.), you're paying a bit of attention to your appearance, and you've expanded both your social circle through your 'getting out there', and your intellect by engaging in some educational pursuits. You've gained some levels!

Now you need to take a look around and see where you need to upgrade. Do you have a job? Do you have an education? Do you live with your parents? You may be able to justify (read: make excuses for) these points, but I can tell you that girls aren't going to want to hear it.

Move out, finish school, and get employed. If you can't contribute to a household, there's a good chance you can't contribute to a relationship. And ok, maybe you're just looking for a lay, which is fine and all...but you'd better hope she doesn't mind you going back to her place, cause you'll be introducing her to Mom and Dad if you bring her back to yours. Besides, if you're old enough to be reading this legitimately, you should be on your way to at least finishing school, and you definitely don't want to have your parents hear you banging some chick in their basement. A job is an essential step to 'growing up', and if you're in the same place that you were ten years shouldn't be allowed to sleep with people.

Fixing your situation is obviously a benefit to you as well. Finding a job right now is a bit of a fight, but it can be done.

Putting these three things together and applying them to your life should make a giant difference in your response rate, both online and off. It also has the added benefit of getting you out into the world. Who knows, maybe your new coworker, gym buddy, classmate, or roommate will have a cute friend, who will be infinitely more impressed at the new, well-rounded specimen before her.

You can't expect to beat orcs when you're only level three.

 You'll get here eventually!

~ Red

* Your mileage may vary.
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