Performing for Free? Note to Club Owners - Article by Dave Goldberg

A common issue across all performing and artistic communities is the struggle of performers to actually get paid for their art, their work, their time, and their talent.

I am firmly, and occasionally viciously, against performing for free. There are very very few cases in which I think it's acceptable. Especially in burlesque, in which you are stripping. Call it what you like, but you are stripping. There is absolutely no excuse to be giving that away for free.

Don't event use the word 'exposure.' After I'm done shuddering I might just expose you to a blunt object.

This article lays out the 'why' very well. Mind you, it's specifically directed at LA club owners, and from the point of view of a musicians, but the concepts cover all artists and club owners. The next time someone wants you to perform for free, think back to this.

Click here to read it.

Do you want some good points to convince you to click over?

"...it is no longer good enough for the musician to be willing to perform for little compensation...The expectations are that the band will not only provide great music, but also bring lots of people to their venue. It is now the band’s responsibility to make this happen, not the club owner."

"When a venue opens it’s doors, it has to market itself….Do you really want to leave something so important up to a musician?…I’ve played places where for whatever reason only a few people have walked in the door on a Saturday night.The club owner got mad at me, asking where are the people? I turned it around on him asking the same thing: Where are all the people? It’s Saturday night and your venue is empty. Doesn’t that concern you? What are you going to do about it?"

"...explain to the club owner that it’s not in their best interest to operate their business like this. There is too much at stake for them not to be truly invested in the music presented in their venue. Convince them that if they think that live music is important to the demographic that they are trying to reach, then they need to reach out to that demographic in a professional way. "          ~Dave Goldberg

There are many more ideas for how to get this point across tothe clob owners in your area. If this becomes a bit more commonplace maybe we'll start to see a change across the artistic community as a whole.

~Red

Photographer Spotlight - Robert 'Nix' Nickson and Myla Strange

 Nix and Myla are definitely an experience to work with. Their shoots typically have an edge to the sexiness, involving blood, heads not attached to bodies, or heavy machinery. I love photo sets that have a narrative, maybe because of my writer background. Every time they contact me with an idea, I'm super excited to jump on it.

Our first shoot tougher involved nuns, school girls, and heavy blood-covered chainsaws. While the photos didn't turn out due to some bad luck, the experience was hilarious and the story behind the shoot and their attitudes really encouraged me to continue working with them and I'm so glad I did.


Here are some photos we've worked on together with Rodrigo from Rue Morgue Magazine!

The redhead always wins! Photos by Nix, makeup by 3BArtistry

 Nix and Myla float between Detroit and Toronto (and possibly some other places) and have recently opened up their studio in Detroit, where one of our shoots was used as a major unveiling! This one:

Christmas Corpse! Photo by Nix

As a bonus, I never leave a shoot with them empty handed. Whether it's a gorgeous fascinator, a really lush Santa Hat, or even framed prints of our previous work, they really appreciate and support the girls who work with them.

Check them out, and give them love!

~ Red

The Rules: Be the Perfect Date - by Elle Persephone

You may remember the gorgeous and witty Elle Persephone. from a previous blog series: Top 3 Tips for Women Doing The Rules for Online Dating. If you haven't read this three-part guide for ladies on how to use The Rules of dating, you should. Go on, I'll wait.

Makeup by Mark Boyer of 3BArtistry, Photo by Kenneth Lam

Elle has been continung to track the trials and tribulations of hunting down an acceptable man over on her blog. I definitely reccomend reading it, for both men and women (single or taken), not only because she's gorgeous, but because she's just the right amount of honest and brutal. 

Recently she added a wonderful guide for the men, outlining how to be the perfect Rules date. Here's a little blurb, but go on and click through to read the whole she-bang!

How to Be The Perfect Rules Date 

 While I cover how to get a date in “Here’s a Tip For the Fellas, too”, I did not cover what to do once you are in situ. Here - as a special (french) kiss to all my male readers - are tips for men on how to be the perfect Rules date...

Learn all you can, boys!

~Red

Red Herring Burlesque featured on Sex Life Canada

I'm getting around! I'm like a sparkly plague.

Just before the Toronto Burlesque Festival I was featured on Sex Life Canada in a wonderful interview by Jon Pressick.

Photo in the article by Craig Cochrane

I'm flattered to be joining the sexy interviewed ranks of Keela Watts and Canada's own Miss Exotic World 2010, Roxi DLite.

Take a look at the Q&A featuring some questions about burlesque and the scene, both local and beyond!

~ Red

Red Herring Burlesque featured on Applied Glamour!

All the way back in July, I was interviewed by Laura from Applied Glamour!

Photo used in the article is by Toni Wallachy of Orangeroads Photography

Laura is a makeup artist bent on showing ladies and gentlemen that they too can be glamorous, beautiful and stunning creatures. Her blog contains tip and How-to articles, reviews and interviews, and more!

GLAMOUR: the quality of fascinating, alluring, or attracting, especially by a combination of charm and good looks!

Think you don't have those qualities?!? Think again! Applied Glamour is here to insist otherwise!

Take a look at her blog, read some hilarious remarks I've made regarding boob contouring, and learn!

~Red

How to Survive a Burlesque Festival - feat Fish nor Fowl

The lovely Freya West, whom I've featured here a little while ago, has written up a wonderful list of tips and tricks for surviving a burlesque festival, whether it's your first time or your fiftieth. Click here to check out her list!

 

Freya West. I told you she was lovely.

Photography by LA Photographie

On the list such things as: gorgeous and uncomfortable shoes, false eyelashes, and a strong constitution.

This is a very good primer for what to expect to carry for a festival. For more of an in-depth look at the festival experience, I point you to my Toronto Burlesque Festival Recaps!

Wednesday

Thursday 

Friday

Saturday

Now, for some of my additions to Freya's amazing list:

1. Business Cards
 You may run into any number of people, from Producers of stage shows to Producers of all things TV and media-land. Business cards are the most basic of all professional items. Hand them out like candy, and collect them too!

2. Business Card Holder
 For all those business cards you'll be taking in return, you'll need a fancy little holder. I have an adorable polka-dotted one that helps me corral the little beasts so that I can follow up with all the contacts I've met after the festival.

Here's a cute one featuring Bettie Page 

from Pinup Girl Clothing! 

You can get them in a variety of styles. Check out places like etsy as well!

3. Small-but-Fabulous purse
 To hold your wallet, lipstick, business card holder, maybe some pressed power, raffle tickets, and anything else that you may come across! Bonus points if it's large enough to stuff your phone in beside your cash. Something like below would be cute!

4. Large-and-also-Fabulous Bag

 Something for toting around more substantial things, like a change of shoes (flats in case you have to trek somewhere!) notepads or notebooks, etc. Below is a really nice one, but you may want to go even bigger, like a tote bag (try leopard or zebra print!)

That's it for my additions!

Is there anything else you would add, lovely readers?

Be sure to have a look at Freya's website (recently made fabulous) and maybe join her in a Top Hat Tuesday?

~ Red Herring

Jeffrey Thomas - Femme Fatales

I was stumbling across the web when I came upon the work of character artist Jeffrey Thomas and found a wonderfully noir-inspired set of his, Femme Fatale.

Of course, Lady in Red was my favourite. It even has the title of one of my past productions.

Lady in Red by Jeffrey Thomas

I thought you lovely people would be interested in some of this lovely art, so take a look over at his blog or his deviant page.

Also of interest: his Twisted Princess series, of dark Disney Princesses. Pretty epic.

What other illustrators, character artists, or artists in general do you know of have great vintage/pin-up/burlesque art? Leave a comment and I'll check them out!

~Red

Top 3 Tips for Women Doing The Rules for Online Dating - PART 3 - by Elle Persephone

The below is the final in a series of three guest posts by the deliciously witty Elle Persephone. Take a look back at the previous Top 3 Tips! Click here for Tip 1, and heere for Tip 2.

If you aren't sure who Elle is, check out my introduction post here!

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3. You are Too Fucking Available, so WAIT 24 hours…

Point #3 could also be called “Stop Texting” but for those who know me – and know the way I say it – the above title packs a better punch. Every loser has said “I hate games” but no man worth his salt has ever said “I hate the chase” and today’s woman is too. fucking. available. First it was pagers, then email, then cell phones, then living together… 

Picture from http://www.teensunderground.com

How can he miss you if you never leave? How can he be interested in you, if you already told him everything on your first date? If you’ve mastered SHUTTING UP, and even if you haven’t, it’s now time to SHUT UP on your mobile devices.

Sadly, The Rules for Online Dating are silent on the topic of texting. Therefore, I am implementing a Rule of my very own as inspired by The Rules:

Wait 24 hours to respond when you have received a text. 

I am not kidding. If you he wants to ask you out by text, then he has to do it by Wednesday, otherwise he is SOL because you are BUSY. Besides, guys who get your number and then only text are Duds, or married. My text inbox usually has five messages by Tuesday night, all vying for that coveted Saturday slot. This is in addition to the men who actually call me, and those that arrange meetings on the dating website itself. I do not answer any of them until Wednesday at lunch. 

I write a maximum of three short lines that get right to the point. I never say “No” unless I am certain that there will be a scheduling conflict. Better to have two dates the same night, than none at all! Stop endlessly wasting your time answering silly sext messages that never get to the point.

IN CONCLUSION, interdating (i.e. internet dating) is the future. Posting a "resume" on the internet is how we will meet many people going forward: future friends, future employers, and future spouses. If you know what you are looking for and if you have adequate boundaries firmly in place, it can be fast, easy and fun. It takes me just a few minutes a day to confirm a date for the weekend and each week I meet someone new. As Dr. Phil recommends, "I am in a target rich environment". 

It did not start out easy and I had a lot of bumps on the way but The Rules for Online Dating were a valuable resource and I can not say enough good things about this process. Looking for that BIG love is a noble quest. There is magic every Friday and Saturday night I wanted to be a part of, and now I am. I hope to see you out there.

- Elle Persephone

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That's everything from Elle! Remember to take a look at her blog for a series of dates, and what she's learned.

A huge thank you goes to Elle for supplying me with guest posts over the course of this month. Readers, be sure to comment with your thoughts!

Have any experiences with online dating? Email me! 

This post brought to you by Red Herring, with original content written by Elle Persephone. Photos belong to their credited owners.

Top 3 Tips for Women Doing The Rules for Online Dating - PART 2 - by Elle Persephone

The below is the second in a series of three guest posts by the deliciously witty Elle Persephone. Check back weekly over the course of February to get the rest of her Top 3 Tips! If you aren't sure who Elle is, check out my introduction post here! And take a look at Tip 1!

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2. Shut Up

I want you to read the following real life paragraph written by a thirty-something professional asking for relationship advice from The Rules, whilst simultaneously arguing against them:

I have to admit, to break the ways that I grew up, the philosophies that I have stood by on being a real and honest person always, would be hard to break. If I like someone, I tell it as it is and I truly believe I never step out of line.  If they cannot handle my boldness or honesty or they are not attracted to me - yes I am hurt, but I say to myself fuck it and time to move forward. Although I admit, that has happened one too many times in my life.*

>>>Me: Whoa, Zena Warrior Princess! Who's telling you to lie? I'm telling you to SHUT UP, not lie. Re-read your paragraph. You are basically so insistent on showing him EVERYTHING about you - right up front, no mystery - you are literally beating him with raw ugly emotional truth (the scariest thing a man can think of) and then complaining when he winces. In this paragraph, you are saying "I know that no man is strong enough for me so I scare them off as quick as I can so that I can spend my days in fantasy relationships" I used to be exactly like you. I used to write paragraphs just like this.

 * Red`s note: I sounded like this too!

Once on the date, at the great location and in your FDO (First Date Outfit, remember?), the clock starts ticking. 

You have 60 minutes to find out if you want a second date, and then only if he asks you. The only thing you need to do for the next hour is be polite. And yes, politeness includes honesty, respect, smiling, laughing and giving short friendly answers to short friendly questions. Politeness includes silence and Silence is Golden. Awkward moments are always going to happen when two strangers meet. Smile, blow it off, SHUT UP and sip a glass of water until you think of something relevant to say. Don't worry, he will start talking. Men love to talk! If he doesn't have any “game”, then it's not your fault; he's a Dud and better luck next week, Sister.

Politeness does not include talking about money (his), talking about sex (yours), asking overly personal questions (either) or asking about the future (both). There is absolutely no possibility that you could learn anything more relevant about man in so short a time other than his name, rank and serial number, so roll with it. Loosen up, keep it clean, and try to enjoy it. You’re out on a date on a Saturday night with an eligible bachelor. It's supposed to be fun. 

 

When the hour is up and your drink is finished, begin to look around, check your watch, hit the can, whatever and let him pay. If you are doing The Rules, then he knew it was his treat when he invited you. Rules Girls do not pay on Date Zero: a simple drinks date. It is irrelevant how much you make versus how much he makes. This is romance, not business. The man will touch the bill and then he will pay for it. Do not touch it, do not look at it, DO NOT TALK about it. Simply say thank you, smile and SHUT UP. 

He is going to ask if you'd like to do this again and you are going to casually say "Sure." and then STOP SPEAKING. The next words should be his. If he actually means it, he can work out the details. Remember, it's a long way from an email, to a text message, to a call, to proper plans, to actually meeting, to doing it all over again… So don’t be the obstacle that kills it by saying “No” in the early stages. You never know where this may lead. Brownie points if he walks you to your car.

The date is now over! You did it! 

And if you are like me, you probably have another one booked around the corner, so get out of there like you have somewhere to go. It worked for Cinderella.

- Elle Persephone

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Come back in a week for Tip 3!


Have any experiences with online dating? Email me! 



This post brought to you by Red Herring, with original content written by Elle Persephone. Photos belong to their credited owners.

Top 3 Tips for Women Doing The Rules for Online Dating - PART 1 - by Elle Persephone

The below is the first in a series of three guest posts by the deliciously witty Elle Persephone. Check back weekly over the course of February to get the rest of her Top 3 Tips! If you aren't sure who Elle is, check out my introduction post here!

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After 41 Dates and Counting in the past year , I have a couple of tips for achieving the best Internet Date possible…

Top 3 Tips for Women doing The Rules for Online Dating

1. Have a perfect date location picked out for “Date Zero” (i.e. a simple drinks date).

The Rules indicate that since the man is ideally coming to your area for the date, you can recommend a place should he ask you. But only if he asks you. In my experience men will use this lifeline, and so it is essential that you have a conveninent location to casually suggest when the moment presents itself. 

For me this is Dr. Generosity in the Bloor West Village. The red-haired waiter who works Saturday night has seen me so many times, every time with a different man, and has done an excellent job of pretending he doesn't recognize me. This cozy bar/restaurant is close to my home, never too crowded but attracts a young hip crowd, across the street from ample Green P parking and has an amazing website and real menu. 

Photo taken from http://yappingaboutfood.com/

 I simply text "Dr. Generosity. Google it" and plans are set. Then, at the appointed hour I bounce across the street, jump into a window booth, and wait for my date. How easy! This is the essence of The Rules.

In addition to having a set location, you need a First Date Outfit (FDO). This is something fitted but classy, with a bit of colour and a bit of bling, that follows your curves with a minimum of flesh. I have had to adjust my FDO for winter (i.e. the addition of a cute sweater or scarf) but it stays essentially the same. You need to feel relaxed and beautiful in this outfit. This outfit does not include stilettos or short skirts unless you normally dress this way.

Here is the benefit: In a location you are comfortable in, in an outfit you have already road-tested, your spidey senses are not being jammed with insecure back talk from your subconcious. Instead, your senses are relaxed but still alert for danger. Imagine how you walk in to work every morning. It's so familiar that you can notice right away if something is wrong. This is the same familiararity that I want to you to feel with internet dating. Meeting a perfect stranger is anticipation enough. Remember, until you see the whites of his eyes, this man is a stone-cold stranger. A nice stranger, but still a stranger. 


- Elle Persephone

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Come back in a week for Tip 2!

Have any experiences with online dating? Email me! 



This post brought to you by Red Herring, with original content written by Elle Persephone. Photos belong to their credited owners.

Guest Post Series! - The Rules by Elle Persephone

I'm going to start a mini series of guest posts, and the cherry popper of the guests is the wonderful, witty Elle Persephone.

I met Elle in Coco Framboise's burlesque classes, and learned that she was writing a blog based on her dating life. This is something that I used to do, back when I first forayed into online dating. Some of these dates went surprisingly well, some surprisingly terrible, and some were just surprising.

Photo from one of the Get Your Makeup Did events that I run. Makeup by 3B Artistry.

Elle, however, has a tool that I was not privy to in my adventures on PlentyofFish and OkCupid: The Rules. Here's her description:

"The Rules - in brief - require that the man initiate contact, the method of contact and that he chooses the date, time and venue for "Date Zero" i.e. a quick drinks date. Finally, he must do all this in 4 messages or less."

Throughout the dates (covering over a year, and up to #43 at the time of this blog) she expands on the rules, and specifically notes where she deviated from them...and the results.

Here's an excerpt from the beginning of her experiment:

"Hello Dear Reader and Welcome to the New Year and beginning of a New Decade.

I have looked back at the previous decade and realized that despite a lot of crying, lying and two broken hearts, I have not achieved my goal of becoming a happy wife and mother. Something has got to change and that change begins with me. I will begin by outlining my intention. I will go on as many dates as I can this year through POF or, the old fashioned way. Initially this sounds daunting but I will choose my potential mates by using a book I found at the library - "The Rules for Online Dating" by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, published in 1995. At first blush, this book seemed draconian in its' rigidity but in practice the method is most scientific. I will abide by the strict code of conduct outlined on those pages and I will not deviate, but if I do I will certainly tell you about it....Wish me Luck, Dear Reader, I will need it."

This is an excellent blog for girls interested in online dating, or dating in general. For guys? Think of this as a view from our side. Tips, pointers, and a nice set of stories from which you can glean advice with careful reading.

Elle will be providing a few posts on her experiences over the last year, and what she has learned from it.

I've included some Amazon links to a few editions by the author, from the '95 original that Elle is working off, to a few newer editions.

With a bit of googling I've found The Rules website!I haven't had time to check it out too thuroughly, but let me know if there's anything interesting here in the comments!

Take a look at Elle's blog and stay tuned for her upcoming posts throughout the month of February!

~ Red Herring