Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Top 3 Tips for Women Doing The Rules for Online Dating - PART 1 - by Elle Persephone

The below is the first in a series of three guest posts by the deliciously witty Elle Persephone. Check back weekly over the course of February to get the rest of her Top 3 Tips! If you aren't sure who Elle is, check out my introduction post here!

After 41 Dates and Counting in the past year , I have a couple of tips for achieving the best Internet Date possible…

Top 3 Tips for Women doing The Rules for Online Dating

1. Have a perfect date location picked out for “Date Zero” (i.e. a simple drinks date).
The Rules indicate that since the man is ideally coming to your area for the date, you can recommend a place should he ask you. But only if he asks you. In my experience men will use this lifeline, and so it is essential that you have a conveninent location to casually suggest when the moment presents itself. 

For me this is Dr. Generosity in the Bloor West Village. The red-haired waiter who works Saturday night has seen me so many times, every time with a different man, and has done an excellent job of pretending he doesn't recognize me. This cozy bar/restaurant is close to my home, never too crowded but attracts a young hip crowd, across the street from ample Green P parking and has an amazing website and real menu. 

 I simply text "Dr. Generosity. Google it" and plans are set. Then, at the appointed hour I bounce across the street, jump into a window booth, and wait for my date. How easy! This is the essence of The Rules.
In addition to having a set location, you need a First Date Outfit (FDO). This is something fitted but classy, with a bit of colour and a bit of bling, that follows your curves with a minimum of flesh. I have had to adjust my FDO for winter (i.e. the addition of a cute sweater or scarf) but it stays essentially the same. You need to feel relaxed and beautiful in this outfit. This outfit does not include stilettos or short skirts unless you normally dress this way.

Here is the benefit: In a location you are comfortable in, in an outfit you have already road-tested, your spidey senses are not being jammed with insecure back talk from your subconcious. Instead, your senses are relaxed but still alert for danger. Imagine how you walk in to work every morning. It's so familiar that you can notice right away if something is wrong. This is the same familiararity that I want to you to feel with internet dating. Meeting a perfect stranger is anticipation enough. Remember, until you see the whites of his eyes, this man is a stone-cold stranger. A nice stranger, but still a stranger. 

- Elle Persephone

Come back in a week for Tip 2!

Have any experiences with online dating? Email me

This post brought to you by Red Herring, with original content written by Elle Persephone. Photos belong to their credited owners.


  1. Nice topic.
    Indeed a worth remembering thoughts.

  2. Hi Elle,
    What is a good time to have the date?
    I got a message from a guy who gave me his number and asked if I wanted to meet at a restaurant we were talking about.
    How do I go about giving him my number, without seeming like a game-player?
    Thanks! =)

  3. Also, it's Friday today, can I meet him mid-week, or do I have to wait until next Saturday?


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