The Toronto Burlesque Festival Recap! - Wednesday!

7Wednesday was the kickoff of the festival, and it began with a trip to the Gladstone Hotel to see the North American premiere of the documentary Dirty Martini and the New Burlesque.

Same movie, different event!

To be honest, I wasn't originally going to attend. I, like many a burlesquer, am often ass broke. The advance tickets had a good deal however, so I dropped the cash a few days before and trotted down to register for the festival, pick up my goodie bag, and hang out with the delightful Stacey of theOriginalFace.ca and whoever else we happened to meet.

I love being secure in the knowledge that even if you're not going to the event with anyone, you're certain to meet someone you already know.

It's like Cheers, but if Kristie Alley took off her top. The Toronto burlesque scene: where everyone knows your stage name.

The movie gave me a real look into the 'scene' outside of Toronto. It was inspiring and educational, and not for one minute boring.

Julie Atlas Muz

The post-premier performances were my first taste of live international burlesque. It was delicious. Julie Atlas Muz and Peekaboo Pointe are my two new favourite performers. The 'lip synching' of Miss Julie will be remembered always.

Peekaboo Pointe

After the premier and performances I had the wonderful luck to accompany a bevy of amazing dancers out to a delicious round of poutines! The ever-wonderful Miss Exotic World 2010: Roxi Dlite and her charming spouse-creature Darcy sat at the table with Stacey of theOriginalFace.ca and the one and only Dirty Martini!

Behold chocolate-rum milkshake!

Thus ended an amazing opening to the festival!

Till next time~

~Red 

* Photo credit belong to their original takers

Behind the Scenes with Lady Luck Productions

This past Tuesday I had the opportunity to be a part of a giant filming event with Lady Luck Productions for their new swing-themed show.

The Get Luckies (St. Stella, Trixie Jones, and myself) got there around 10am to start filming. Costume changes, flowers, feathers, and a bit of tease for the camera later, and we had a wonderful day!

Pictured here are two of Lady Luck's dancers, Teresa (red dress) the amazing vocalist, and St Stella (right) the bendy blonde beauty. The Get Luckies managed to pull together four matching outfits for the event, and the black flapper dress you see on the bombshell on the right was one of the best sets we had...completely by accident!

There was a variety of amazing talent present all day long. Natalie Fullerton, of Les Coquettes, came by to show off her amazing skills on the silks. Aside from her awe-inspiring talent (afraid of heights, me? No, just the landing. Splat.) I loved the turquoise silks. I seem to have only seen red in the scene so far. I can't wait to see this part of the video.

Some of the amazingly talented backup dancers in one of the many adorable costumes. These girls do not know the meaning of tired. They kept up with the twirling and lifts and run-throughs all day, no matter the heat.

Here you can see us in our seriously adorable sailor costumes. This was our second-last costume switch, and poor Trixi had to run off to work before we finished off the day and headed into the rewarding 'after party' quest. Bonus: Drinks!

A nice group shot of the majority of the girls from the day. Our male brethren had disappeared somewhere behind the camera. The two ladies in the middle (Teresa and Patrizia) are the wonderful minds, legs, and voices behind Lady Luck, with a bevvy of us dancers and burlesques framing the shot.

I definitely can't wait to see the video! I'll make sure to post it here (and everywhere else) as soon as it goes up!

~Red Herring

The Kitten Edition

Like many a burlesque dancer out there, I have fur-babies. Kittens. Kittletts. Often called Boogers. They eat my boas and push sequins off the table, but they are little drag queens in fur coats, and my cuddly buggers, and this post is going to show you them.

Photo by Ken Lam from our Get Your Makeup Did event

Blaise, on the left, is a bit of an evil bastard. He was adopted in August 2005, and he's almost six. I can't say enough good things about the Brampton Animal Shelter where I got him. Pym is the terrified little tabby 'n white on the right. He's generally shy as hell until night time rolls around...when he becomes a squeaking monster demanding pets.

Blaise came fully kitted out with a free vet check, pet insurance, shots and his bits snipped. Interesting extras included a full set (20) of pointy knives on each toe, and obscenely large teeth.

Witness the toothy fiend! Yes, that's my toe on the right. He chompers actually stick out under his cheeks, like a modern sabretooth. He has a great many habits, for example: in the fall/winter one of the most likely places to find him is behind my laptop, kicking the back and clawing at my fingers as I type. The motor's warm, I suppose. I've gotten used to the possibly-unsettling reality of this face:

Mostly, our relationship is like:

Blaise and i tend to get along on a 'fuck that noise' level. We both have the same tolerance levels, but since he's a cat he tends to forgo diplomacy and is able to be a ratbastard whenever he likes. I love him for it. He has his cuddly moments, as I do, and he's pretty insistent about being given attention Right Now, whenever that 'now' may be. Must be nice to be a cat.

Pym, on the other hand, is a sweetheart and hella skittish. He was adopted 'by accident' from a pet store that was not supposed to sell kittens. Unbeknownst to me, they had foster kittens in the store one cold November, 2005. I walked in to get Blaise some treats and this little 5 month furball meow'd at me...but no sound came out. The sales lady told me he'd been found nearly frozen, half dead under a wheelbarrow.*

I took him home.

He still has a broken meow. It comes out as a squeak, or a trill, or a really weird sound. I've hypothesized his possible alien origins. He's a little over five years now, and he's calmed down quite a bit from his initial shyness. Night time is always the time he creeps out and pretends he wants you to pet him. By the time you get into bed he will force you to pet him.

And after force-pets, he will burrow if given the slightest chance.

Action shot!

He's had a few (costly) issues with his bladder/kindeys lately, and the trips to the vet haven't made him too pleased with me. I had to rush him there for an overnight stay on the eve of Toronto's Strip Search 2010. A hefty bill later, and he's fine. I watch him like a hawk now, and he's fine if caught early.

Besides, look at this face. Could you resist?

This is often why I'm
late for work

Many pets are little performers in their own rights. I'm pulling together a post for the future, detailing the lives of performers and their pets. If you'd like to be included, please email me a picture of you and your pet at sspernicious (at) gmail .com with your stage name and your pets' name. Any critter will do!

Go hug your fluffers!

~Red

*I'm positive they use this backstory for all their foster kittens. It works.

What Not to Do: The Abs Round-Up

And now, for another edition of What Not to Do!

Or this may be the first...but the first of what is surely many to come. Ah, back to dating. Did you think I'd let you boys off easy with food and burlesque all the time? Ha.

This will be the Abs Round-Up: A collection of six-packs, with possibly no intelligence within. Remember my Advertise Your Manliness post? Do not post picture of just your abs. Don't.

Anyone who's been on a dating site will recognize the following kind of photo:

While this bathroom is nice and tidy(with a pretty shade of blue on the walls)
a better picture would show this boy shirtless and doing some cleaning.
Scrub that tile!

Yup, that's right: abs.

Some guy, standing in his bathroom/bedroom/mom's house, lifting his shirt up in front of the mirror. Hell, for variation there may be no shirt at all.

What do boys think this accomplishes? I mean yes, abs are nice. Especially when there're more than one of them. But really, what does that say? If your abs are the only thing about yourself that you're proud of...get a hobby. Outside of the gym.

Please see the exhibits below to further prove my point:

Now this guy...yeah. Boxers showing? Check. iPod product placement? Check.
Sassy smirk? Check (trust me, it was there).

Please boys, do not try to pull the Play Girl poses. Leave that up to Taylor Lautner and his Teen Beat cronies. Is that magazine still around?

Below, please see the trio of low low pants. Shades inside, gold bling and hiked-up shirts definitely make you a candidate for brain-donation. But hey, at least you have nice obliques.

Notice how the pants keep...getting...lower?

Did you know that posing on an angle makes you look skinnier? I wish I had abs like that just by taking a page out of this guys' book! And look, below we have a perfect pair of examples of the proper shirt-lifting form!

What should you have instead? Take a look at my other entry for a guide to better pictures.

Until then, here's some more jock-boy junk food.

Bonus points for the cowboy hat and wife-beater combo, am I right?

Mmmm, can't you just smell the intelligence?

Till next time!

~Red

Get Your Makeup Did!

Am I keeping busy? You betcha. Time for some self-promotion! (Give me a break, most of my 9to5 goes to glitter and rent, in that order)

Once a month or so, I've been running a makeup event in conjunction with my boy-creature and a photographer I've worked with for a few years now. Revealingly titled 'Get Your Makeup Did,' it's a chance for people to get a mini-makeover and a bunch of pictures for their portfolio, facebook, or the coveted position above the fireplace mantle. All this for the low price of $50*

We offer raw files and up to three edited photos for your use, all print size.

The next event is happening at Chez Moi (is that even vaguely French for 'my place?') on July 18th and we're already booked up with some lovely local burlesque ladies!

Here are a few samples of what we're up to:

Firstly, my boy-creature Mark Boyer and I, your wonderful hosts.

Yeah, this is pretty much what we're like all the time.

The photographer is my dear friend Ken Lam, who has been working with me since before I was a model. He's a doll, and quite good at what he does.

Take a look at a few examples of Selected Sass below! And don't worry boys, there's room for you too! Our last shoot featured a face painting, so stay tuned for some more pics from past events.

The ever-adorable Bibi Bourgeon (debuting her burlesque-bits soon at Strip Search!) and Kristen T., who's frikken cute, and works as a model/actress.

Here we have the gorgeous and talented Teresa from Lady Luck Productions, and Lily Lemonpie (one of Coco Framboise's bonbons and the runner up to Strip Search 2010!).

The session that just occurred featured burlesque dancer Kenickie Street, and the upcoming session in July will have tassel-twirling wonders Dolly Berlin, Venus De Lys, and Fan Tan Fanny of the Firecrackers!

We have more sessions coming up sometime in August and September! Stay tuned!


~Red

*$40 for repeat customers!